I get asked quite a lot how I know when I am on the right path, when I know how I am on the path that I am meant to be on or how I know when I am on THE path. I would love to be able to give you a definitive, rational explanation of that knowing. Unfortunately, I can’t.
Like most things spiritual, energetic, esoteric – there is no rational, sensible, understandable, definitive explanation. There just IS. There is a sense of knowing, a feeling, a fluttering of excitement that something just is SO right, fits SO into place and such is the strength of that knowing that no rational explanation can shift it!
We have paths that shift as we travel on our (never-ending it has to be said) journey. For me, the sense as I look back (and isn’t hindsight simply marvellous? We will at some point in time in this physical existence get to the point that hindsight is now I am sure) is that much of what I felt was my ‘path’ during my first ten years or so in development – and when I say development, I do mean consciously working with energy, learning my energy, opening up to the energetic world around me – was actually not a path, not a purpose at all. It was a journey back to me and it consisted of several paths or elements. It was a learning curve that opened my mind, my consciousness to everything that I wasn’t and to everything that I was or had the potential to be.
It was the stripping away of society, of expectations, of boundaries – and not so that I didn’t live within society effectively but so that I knew myself outside of the societal restrictions, expectations and responsibilities. It was the stripping away of the learning of my upbringing – which was right for my parents, my grandparents but not necessarily always for me. It was the stripping away of defences that I put in place to remain ‘safe’. It was unlearning the breath so that I could REALLY LEARN TO BREATHE.
And when all of that non-me was stripped away, or well into the process of (as I do believe it carries on and on…), then I began seeing, learning, feeling, knowing who I was, who I am – not who I wanted to be, who I thought it might be nice to be, who I thought I was. But who I actually am – the beautiful and the non-beautiful, the warts and the smiles. It was the understanding of the connection with all of life, my connection with all of life. It was learning the spirit, the learning of my spirit and the acceptance of all that that entailed (as it stands to date at least!)
And for all of us, this journey back to ourselves is never-ending, because we are energy and energy moves and expands and changes and so we can always be more. But within this eternal process of growth, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness there is also the opening of the doorway to the reason (or one of them) that we have chosen to incarnate for. There is our purpose.
And our purpose cannot come into play until we are in the right place within ourselves which is why all paths lead back to us. Like a spiral of energy moving inwards unto itself before spiralling out again, so we need to spiral into ourselves before we are in the position for our purpose to become apparent, for the door to it to open for us to step forward through. We need to know ourselves, be at peace with ourselves, accept ourselves and only then does purpose show itself.
And with that, there is a different sense of knowing. It doesn’t negate the previous knowings of path – they are just as valid, just as important, even more so for without them we would not reach the point of purpose, they are stepping stones to our purpose that we MUST take in order to reach the beginning step of what we are here to do. Purpose feels different – it is the feeling of the breath of the heart rather than the feeling of the heart or the beat of the heart; it is the unhesitating and total knowing of spirit within rather than the knowing of the spiritual or spirituality.
It makes all previous knowing seem like the picture of a rainbow after the rain whilst this knowing is you as the rainbow. You expand and your sense of knowing, feeling, trusting expands and as they do so you feel this knowing within every fibre, cell, particle and atom of your being. There is no doubt.
It is the flower that grows, gaining strength, pushing up through the earth, drinking the sunshine and then, all of a sudden…it opens and blooms.
If you are not sure if your purpose has revealed itself and opened its door, then it very probably hasn’t as you would know beyond any resonance of doubt. How exciting that it is yet to come; how amazing that all of the connections made to date, wonderful as they are, will be eclipsed by that greater and undeniable connection still to be experienced.
How wonderful is it that on this amazing journey – our amazing journey, that mirrors the amazing journey of our planet, our stars, our universe, the best is yet to come.