Do you remember that moment you answered the call of the Universe? That moment when you realised or just knew that something, somewhere was calling you to look at life differently?
It is a simple but profound moment isn’t it? Simple because I don’t think that any of us realises the journey that we are about to embark upon. It is the train that we never get off; the plane that never lands; the ship that never makes port…
Profound because our life changes, sometimes slowly and subtly and sometimes quickly and shockingly but one thing remains constant for all of us: once aware, we can never then become unaware.
People often call these experiences ‘awakening’. I prefer to think of them as ‘remembering’. Remembering our heritage, our spiritual ancestry, our divinity, our light, us.
My own process actively started (and I say actively as I feel that I have always been aware of something but never gave it much time or consideration) after a brief romantic indulgence which I found it hard to let go of – and that was totally unlike me at the time. I confess to being a bit of a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type then, not intentionally but more through a previous experience and a lack of emotional engagement moving forward; nothing seemed to ‘catch’ me emotionally and having been in a very deep relationship previously I didn’t want something ‘less’ (oh the ignorance of youth!) so if the earth didn’t move, then I did…
But I digress. I couldn’t get this person out of my mind and a colleague at the time suggested I have a tarot reading to get some idea of ‘the future’. I did; the reading wasn’t accurate in any respect of my life and didn’t have any real substance but one thing that did arise was the reader telling me she felt I should work with crystals. I rolled my eyes. Little did I know…
A few days later when I woke up, I had that experience of something being shouted at me, even though I was alone. I am sure many of us have had that sense of waking up because someone is shouting our name and when we awake, no one is there and if there is, they haven’t spoken let alone shouted. Well, the word that was shouted was Kunzite.
I had no idea what it was but we had just got the internet a few weeks earlier at work so I looked it up and lo and behold it was a crystal! I was curious; I went back to the shop where the reader was, which also sold crystals, and asked if they had kunzite. They did. I bought it. I was told to put it under my pillow so that it ‘attuned’ to me. I did – and I had night after night of remembering past life experiences (with the person I had been involved with). I can’t tell you how I knew that they were remembrances of past lives; I just did. There was absolutely no doubt.
I remember walking back from the train station one day, down a small alley-type way to my flat and thinking ‘wow’. I wanted to know more and I felt inspired to just throw my arms wide, look up at the sky (not sure why we have that sense of speaking to the sky as the Universe when we know actually that everything is not ‘up there’ but all round us, but hey ho) and say ‘I am ready. Take me and show me’.
I felt that something had been calling me and I was ready to answer that call, whatever it was. I do confess to looking behind me to check there was no one looking when I threw my arms wide and talked to the sky!
Upon those few experiences in such a short time, my entire life shifted on its axis. I held a crystal and I could feel my body vibrate. I felt my crown (only I didn’t know at that time that it was a chakra) open up and expand. What strikes me now is that at no time was I scared, afraid or even remotely worried – everything felt right, everything felt safe.
I enrolled on a course to learn about crystals which was mind-blowing for me. I then did a flower and gem essence course – I sat on a yew tree and felt its voice speaking to me. And that was the point, looking back, that I felt that anything and everything was possible. (Incidentally, when I looked back at the channelling from the yew a few years later, it proved absolutely and unambiguously true.)
Of course, as mentioned above, once we become aware we can never then undo that and then become unaware once again. Life changes; we change – as we accept the call of spirit; the call to shine our light, to shine it brightly and without apology – and those changes can be difficult both for us and those we love. Change can be frightening, that stable ground beneath us (and others) changes to shifting sands with each footprint affecting the next and so on and so forth.
Spirit and light challenge us to be at balance, in vibrational harmony with ourselves and the world around us and this means understanding, resolving, releasing, accepting, forgiving those things that take us out of balance. People and situations leave, or we do…
Answering the call doesn’t make life easier – more rewarding, fulfilling but not necessarily easier. Life is not about ease…or is it? Life is about happy, about growth, about experience, about love, about compassion, about joy, about laughter, about sharing. Life is about YOU. It is about opening ourselves up rather than shutting ourselves away. It is about allowing ourselves to be who we are rather than who we feel (or others or society expect) we should be. It is about accepting that right to be who we are and knowing that there is nothing wrong with that. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to change aspects of ourself – that is a natural process of growth.
I am sure that most of us have at some point wished, albeit briefly (or perhaps not so briefly for some of us) and in those darker moments, that we hadn’t answered the call to remember, to embrace the wonderful essence that is at the very heart of who we are. How much easier would life be if we could live it on the surface (and I do use that word loosely). How much easier…but how sad to choose to miss out on all that life has to offer.
Where red stays red, rather than seeing it as shades from scarlet, to crimson, from coral to vermillion. Where the sky is either blue or grey rather than painted with the signatures of spirit and angels. Where a country walk on a Sunday afternoon remains beautiful but stagnant of the life and energy of nature as trees wave and flowers call out hello. Would we really wish not to see that, to know that? Well, perhaps, sometimes and yet even if we attempt to undo what spirit are opening us up to, don’t we then find that nevertheless the old joys no longer hold the same joy.
We might wish to exist in that state of limbo where everything is fine and nothing really touches our soul rather than to experience every moment of happiness as an infinitesimal moment of bliss straight from the heart and soul of the divine to our heart and soul. But we can’t. That wonderful state of limbo is a safe haven no more for we already remember and we already know.
Like the Matrix, do we wish that we had taken that blue pill and woken up in our beds in a state of blissful ignorance rather than taken the red pill and followed the rabbit down the hole into Wonderland?
Actually I don’t think so. We might have moments, we all have moments but the richness of life, the light that does shine in the dark when it shines in the dark far outreaches any fear we might carry about moving forward. It is that moment when the sun sprinkles through the clouds, giving us hope, faith, love and the energy to carry on.
In our soul, in that essence of spirit embedded deep within us, in the spark that lights the flame of our being enabling it to shine, we know. We know and we trust –beyond words or understanding. Beyond reason and logic. Beyond explanation.
We know the call when it comes and like a rainbow appearing as though magic in the midst of the rain, we can’t help but light our rainbow and answer.